I was told that I take the others way too seriously. And I was told that I shouldn’t. Up to this day I haven’t figured out what this person meant exactly but – strangely enough – I recently heard the same comment – again. Let’s do what girls do when they try (and often fail) to rationalize: analyze!!
What do they mean by “the others”?
When you people say “the others”, do you include yourselves? It is a valid question if you carefully think about it. If I’m not supposed to take the others (you included) seriously, then why should I pay any attention in what you’re saying? If this is a general statement meaning that I should value my own opinions more before giving credit to other people’s opinions, then you lose again because a) my behavior derives from my own opinions anyway b) I’m writing a f* blog, the proof I LIKE my opinions (victim of egoism amongst other -isms) and I give them as much credit as to push the “publish” button c) I’m doing a PhD i.e. I have based my survival for at least the next 2 years on my opinions hoping that they will guarantee me a job in the near future where I will (and this is a warning) “enlighten” others by saying my opinions.
What do they mean by “seriously”?
This is the most crucial part of the statement. There are as many interpretations of the word “seriously” as there are people uttering it and equally as many connotations (ok I’m exaggerating a bit here but I’m excused due to academic background). When I evaluate something as “serious” I don’t necessarily acknowledge the person as –in fact – serious. My humble opinion is that serious is… nobody. We all become inevitably caricatures of the type of seriousness we want to project. Little does it matter how someone wants to be considered, independent/ professional/ scholar/ jester/ moody/ crazy/ careless/ angry/ jerk/ girly (boy or girl)/ nice/ bully/ braggart/ or anything else for that matter. Certainly some people are humorless, but that’s an irreversible state of mind developed in stages until adulthood. For all the other – not inborn – qualities we are continuously trained since childhood in terms of perception, mimesis and reproduction. It is as simple as that: if you don’t know how to be a kind person just look around and see what kind people are doing or just enjoy being a not-so-kind person (aka a jerk). There is always a chance that a kind person will look up to you to improve their living standards. To return to the subject, taking someone seriously means neither that we should endorse their opinions nor that these opinions should (or would) affects us. The whole approach is based on one simple acknowledgement: things acquire the importance we ascribe to them. In other words, something is real if it feels real to someone. Ignoring what are the perceptions of reality for the others practically means that we position ourselves somewhere above (without rising above, no confusion there) and beyond the sphere of emotional influence.
What do they mean by “way too”?
Taking people seriously equals to caring about what people say, how people act, how people express their feelings or why people are happy or why are they sad and so on and so forth as well as being part of it. This is the measure of our humanism. You don’t need to do this for everybody. Just pick some. Some you like. I admit my choices are not always good, giving and loving and caring an’ all. Or requited. Or reasonable. Or… sane. But for the few (some unreasonably picked, some indeed insane) people I can call my own, I am thankful. And you people, you, are more than welcome. ;)
Am I (not) taking the others way too seriously? So it is, if you think it is so.
*Dedicated to all the unreasonable, unsuccessful, unrequited choices, of mine and of others
