for all the goodbyes I have said and I’m about to say, again and again

Traveling by train in Germany was a new experience for me and is still one that I most enjoy. Sliding on rails, changing images one after the other, windows framing beautiful landscapes, almost breathtaking. But the most exciting and fascinating elements are the small train stations of the countryside. Modest constructions, built to accommodate a small amount of passengers, these train stations are often rundown – but still in use – places where the ghosts of long and short-term goodbyes linger. How many stories will remain untold, stories of permanent or temporary farewells, as significant as they may be! Come to think of it, with every departure we add our own little story to this endless succession. Either boarding a train to leave something behind or to reach a desired destination we inevitably become part of the wheel reuniting and parting generations of travelers. Happiness and sadness meet and mix on the railway platform, where the hugs and kisses are the most emotional. Looking out of the window I feel like an intruder to the very personal moments of people, when they are touched, gloomy, vulnerable, desperate, or utterly joyful, crying or laughing… like the parents sending their child away, like the friends who welcome you, like a couple parting to be reunited again later, like the lonely passenger anticipating the arrival at another station, like the friends who say goodbye, like you, like me. 

Although one must think of the temporariness of all human relations, saying goodbye is never easy. Some goodbyes are better said early, some other better remain unspoken. But there will always be someone grieving to leave or to stay, ache to let someone go or to leave someone behind, smiling at the prospect of going home, excited to depart and see the world, yearning to go back to loved ones… I can’t conclude on what is harder, to be the one leaving or the one staying, because it probably depends on the person. Leaving was always easier for me, staying behind was for years unbearable. On the other hand I also dislike the word “temporariness” and I prefer to replace it with “impermanence”. Almost the same meaning since nothing lasts forever, but different connotation…