It’s been two years since I left home. Two
years and two months since I came to Germany to study. When I left, I didn’t
think about returning. It’s not something one thinks of when starting anew.
When I left, I had a whole world of chances ahead of me. It was up to me to
decide when and where I would continue my life. And I was amazed of this whole
new spectrum of possibilities. I could go anywhere! I could live my life as
diverse and adventurous as I wanted. Germany was a first shy step and after
that… who knows what would follow?
Two years later I do have a whole world of
chances ahead. I do have them all, all but one. Now I can’t go back. Somewhere in-between
there was this decisive moment when the international student became an
immigrant. Somewhere between memorandums and “yes to all” my chances of
survival, quality of life and financial independence in homeland withered away.
I can do whatever I want as long as I don’t choose to go home. I never had to
decide after all, the choice was made for me in absentia.
As life back home continues… in absentia.
maybe going home is not an option, it makes no sense anyway, I keep finding only cons in the decision. I am completely pro your decision to stay, after all, it should feel like a home after two years, it changes you and home suddenly does not offer you enough, as the popular say "Greece is great for holidays only".
ReplyDeleteYET,not going home, does not mean that you stop there. It is a world of chances, and in most cases, it favors the bold (I dislike Cowards and so do you). There is of charm in moving around, think about it. After two years in Weimar, what's next?